tell me again. we did have it good.

my pt and i were talking during the interfacility transfer today.
her dad has lung cancer.  at the time of dx, he was healthy.  other than his cough.
he had two chemo treatments and it affected his brain.  and now he's too sick to have any more treatments or radiation.

every time i hear those stories, the ones that say, treated lung cancer metastasizes into brain cancer quickly, i'm reminded again, that we had it so good.

as hard as it was to accept dad's decision to not treat it, as much as it felt like he didn't even try, that he didn't even try to fight it.  that he just gave up and died, i'm reminded again, that he made the correct decision.
we didn't have to deal with any of that stuff.  he didn't have to loose his dignity, or not much of it.

he was never incontinent.  he was never confused, until the last two days when his spirit was waiting on his body to catch up.  he never got mean.  he was able to talk coherently and tell us what he wanted up till the very end.

i know we had it good.  but it's really hard to convince myself of that, sometimes.

i find it hard to believe that it will soon be 3 months.  the first month was a fog. the 2nd and 3rd months have been working ot all the time.  where has the time gone?  i've hibernated all summer.