dad's cabin.

we haven't been up to the cabin at all this year yet. i've not been up since the first day of buck season last year. dad's appt was the next day. and as we were sitting up there that night, it was a really strained evening. it wasn't fun. the monster was in everyone's line of sight. and not a one of us wanted to acknowledge it. i knew that night as we were sitting there, that this was the last hunting season with dad, and the last first night of buck season cabin supper.

we haven't used the cabin all summer. not once. too many memories i guess. no one even suggested going to the cabin. when beth emailed me to invite me, i wasn't sure i wanted to go.

it rained today. dave had invited another family up to the cabin, and mom, jon, and i. any other time he/dad would have made the decision that it was too wet to go up. but i think that dave must have gotten it into his head that it was time to go up, and nothing was changing his mind. so we were up tonight. rain and all. muddy trail and all.

i left work a bit early. kathy came in at 6 for me.

i called dave's cell as i came into town. they'd send someone down to get me. when i got back to mom's i parked in my usual spot. hoont gey veck was on the porch. he was laying in front of the door. and by the time i parked, he had stood up in the same spot. i petted his head, and came on in, and looked out the window. and he had laid back down again. and i got this sudden impression that he had greeted me in dad's place. like dad used to do. strong impression.

the dog is going to die. it's obvious. and soon. he prob has a cancer as well. they got him when dad had his colon cancer 10 yrs ago. he's a german shepherd/collie mix and he's the best groundhog dog, or was. mom said the day after the funeral, the dog came into the kitchen, stood there looking, turned around and went back out onto the porch. then he turned back around, came back into the kitchen, looked over to the corner again, and he sighed and went back out. the dog has never been inside the house before. he always refused to come in, even when dad would call him. he never came in. and he's not been inside since. the door can stand open, and he never goes thru that door.

after i got up there, beth said, "look at what krista found. we're keeping it as a souvenir." she found it tucked in the back of the sink. it was a white styrofoam cup with RAY written on it. in dad's handwriting. he'd have used it during hunting season. so during the evening, i'd look up at that cup. they set it up on top of the cupboard, so it's almost as if he was looking over us all. and i sat in the chair, looking around. the cabin was dad's pride and joy.

it was 10 00 before anyone made any move to leave. i don't think that any of us were wanting to make that first move. it's almost as if now that we've broken the ice, we couldn't get out.

3 or 4 days worth in one posting

33. cathy imes. even tho she won't see this posting.  i stopped in at the sheriff's office and she agreed to go out to supper with me.  we talked for quite a while.

34. a few questions answered.  had a chat with john today. got some more information.

35. NRP is recerted for another 2 years.  droll and i were the only 2 in the class.  it went well.

36. kc keeps my feet warm.  he lays on or next to my feet.

37. popcorn w season salt.  it's just pretty good!

38. i'm planning a day for yard work tomorrow.  i don't have to work.  its a nice feeling.

39. cooler weather.  blankets in bed are good things.  it makes for good sleeping weather.

40. zucchini casserole from leftovers is pretty good.  another dump dish that turned out ok.

41. ice cream with the family.  was over to daves this evening. tim n joanna were there too.

42. beth makes good caramel topping for ice cream.  brown sugar, butter, karo, water.

43. a relaxing weekend.  it's been a good weekend.  i've refused to check emails from work.

compliments

29. i have a job.  much as i complain about the responsibility, i do have a job.

30. a better mood today.  not as grumpy today.  i can think a bit clearer today.

31. a decision to be made.  i have options.  so much so that i need to make a decision.  i don't know yet what the answer will be.  i don't know if i'll take the safe route, or if i'll take the take care of myself route.  but at least i have the option.

32. compliments from Dr Neal regarding the 12 lead QA project.  it is a lot of work.  and it appears that he realizes it.

sun and grass

26. the sun was out today.  it's been so long since we've had really nice days.  today was a beautiful day.

27. my yard was mowed when i got home this evening.  the grass was really growing because of all the rain we've had.  and i've just been too depressed to care.  so it's really nice when my grass gets mowed for me.

28. advil.  pms headaches are irritating and annoying.  advil is wonderful stuff.

several more.

22. text/fb chats with cousins.  marty texted me the other day.  said he had been thinking about us.  and then we had a conversation on fb that evening.

23. several days off.  i think my brain is functioning somewhat better again.  maybe.  i needed time off from work. didn't realize how much i needed it.

24. plans are coming along nicely for the mennomeet this weekend.  sounds like there will be a large crowd.

25. nice warm covers on a damp night.  it's rainy out.  and my house is a bit on the chilly and damp side because i have the window open, and because i refuse to turn the furnace on.  so covers feel very good.

quiet

19. nieces and nephews.  they tease me.  i tease them right back.  altho i'm not ever sure who starts it.
 20. and monopoly games.
 21. peace and quiet.  they wear me out.

cooking

15. driving in a huge thunderstorm is loads of fun.   i left central in the middle of that ferocious thunderstorm. lightening was hitting the ground all around me, and the thunder was instantaneous.  twas fun.

 16. i can make baked beans using the dump method. they turned out quite good, if i do say so myself.  kramer said, here, can you make the beans for me?  i'm running out of time.  here's the stuff.  i asked him if he has a recipe.  no, he just eyeballs his stuff.  here's the ingredients.  oh.  well, ok.  i shall try this.  even tho i had no idea what proportions to start out with.  it was fun. i took the ingredients he gave me, and i started dumping.  i dumped the beans in the pan.  put in some brown sugar and karo.  some worcestershire sauce, and mustard.  decided that it was too sweet, so i added another can of beans.  put in some salt, onions and bacon.  and the bacon grease.  then a little more worcestershire sauce and mustard and salt.  and declared it pretty good.  and then i stuck them in the oven for about 4 hours.  they were really good.

 17. kramer let me help cook his meal today. i enjoyed it.  he cooked way too much food.  they had no idea what to do with all the food he make.  ribs, garlic mashed potatoes, baked beans, choc cake with peanut butter icing.  took a large amount to the fame on my way home.

 18. tomorrow is a holiday.  i'm going to sleep in.

hibernation

11. the ability to hibernate without interruptions.  i was outside long enough to get the mail.  i talked to rob on fb, and to a kid from milroy, and nate via txt for a bit.  otherwise, i've had a day of hibernation.

12. washer and drier.  did my laundry.

13. black raspberry ice cream.  finished off the ice cream while i was watching pride and prejudice.  i got it last evening at walmart.  should just have left it there.  all it does is make me grumpy.  like all chick flicks do.

14. zucchini and cheese.  it's good i got lemon pepper seasoning last night and pulled out my zucchini.  it was time to get it used.  it was starting to spoil.

keys

7. my schedule is flexible.  not everyone has the flexibility that i do.

 8. i have the ability to rearrange my plans to do what the company needs.  even tho sometimes, often, it feels like unthankfulness to have to rearrange my plans to cover someone else's need to be off work, i'm glad that i do have the ability to rearrange.

9. i found my keys.  i was at walmart, checked out, paid, headed out to the car.  and wouldn't you know, my keys were missing.  gone.  they weren't tucked in my skirt like they always are.  i went back inside, asked at customer service.  no, no one had turned in a set of keys.  so i went back to the book aisle.  and sure enough, there they were.  lying by the choice books rack.  same place i had stood and read snippets in several books.

 10. joann happened to be in the right place at the right time. she watched my cart while i went looking for my keys.  i briefly considered letting my cart by the car, but just as quickly realized that i had paid for this stuff already, i'm not too keen on letting it sit out for anyone to take.  so i turned around, wheeled my cart back to walmart.  joann was coming out as i was going in.  aren't you going the wrong way?  she asked.  so i told her how i lost my keys.  and she offered to watch my cart for me while i went back in and looked for my keys.